Hubby leaves the house at 6pm tonight and will return at 7.30pm on Friday 28 September. I know that compared to the women around the world with their hubby away at war, this should be a walk in the park and I should just zip my lip. To all the women with men serving in the war zones, my heart truly goes out to you and you girls are so strong I would love to know how you cope.
I have a huge sense of dread filling me at the moment. The thought of being apart for this long and him being so far away concerns me deeply. He tells me I am worrying over nothing and he will be fine,,,,,I know he will be, but I can't help but worry, that's just me.
|Map courtesy of Wikipedia|
The time difference sucks. Germany is 8 hours behind us,,,,therefore when he gets back to his hotel at the end of the day, it will be the middle of the night here. I will be talking to him, I realise this because I don't sleep when he isn't here anyway but I also know that talking on the phone isn't our thing. For some reason I just can't hold a conversation on the phone, I need eye to eye contact, I hate phones (I know I'm weird like that lol). Hubby is the same, whenever he goes away we struggle because we just can't seem to talk properly. I don't know what it is.
Right now, I so desperately want to be back in my old house in Adelaide. The place where I have family and friends that I can call on if needed. Right now I feel a real sense of isolation. I think I may have to go out and volunteer at something, somewhere when school holidays are over just so I can meet some people.
I watch my youngest two boys and they do seem happy here. Neither of them have made friends that they catch up with outside of school yet but they both have grown in confidence since being here. They have just started this week, riding their bikes to school on their own. I am the typical nervous Mum watching the clock at the end of the day of course but they seem so proud of themselves being able to do it on their own. The school is only 1.3kms away and they have traffic lights to cross at so it is a much safer ride than the one we used to have in Adelaide which had a pretty major road to navigate and no crossing or lights (hence the reason they weren't allowed to ride on their own back there lol). They are both riding their bikes each afternoon as well, they go down to the park and ride around it and come back. I hope this doesn't stop. It has been really nice to watch them blossom and grown in independence.
Okay it is time to put my big girl boots on and take a deep breath. I know it will be okay and next Friday night will come and everything will be okay again but I am very worried that this amount of travel will only get worse not better. This isn't what I came here for, not what we gave up our family as we knew it for. We have always been one of those couples that are happiest when together, this job is tearing our family in so many different ways it just isn't fair. All I can do is sit and watch and see what happens with both the kids and this job. I feel like life still has the pause button firmly paused, waiting for a resolution.
I need to focus on my kids this week and work out some things to do that will keep them all happy. Nights are easy enough as they all enjoy movie nights but the days are hard to fill in when they all like different things (always has been a problem). Okay off to google some maps and work out some nearby places I can explore without getting hopelessly lost or the car dying on me when we are miles from home!!!